1. |
on waiting
03:47
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“Will it concede the need for how long time slips by the night and harrow? Will it be seen between the burrows, that I, in time, will follow?”
The darkness weaving, we all need, sometimes, a little bit of oxygen for waiting no matter how far we are.
“In consequence there sits a shadow affixed to it, inept and sallow. Days fly by. The grass is growing. Now here I lie beside my terror.”
I cry out with my voice cut up into pieces and I just wish that I could go on waiting in knowing what I know.
“Will we all go downtown and leave everything behind us and hide where no one one can find us? Wouldn’t that be something?”
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2. |
and i wonder why that is
03:51
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“They never really go away, do they? All the old haunts and the open door sinking into all the things we love like an anchor tossed to the ocean floor.”
I never really know the words to say about the hardest things we’ve ever faced. It’s funny how the little ones always form a block inside and we stay in place.
“And I wonder why that is.”
“I always seem to hold my breath silent like a vacant lot or an empty room. Now I’m driving all around for some reason but I lost that meaning long too soon.
And I wonder why that is.”
“Now I can see we’re dividing, disintegrating from the bottom up. It’s different now because I’m aware, but it never really feels like that’s enough.”
“And I wonder why that is.”
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3. |
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Everyone will know my face and I cannot retrace the different paths that I walk down to get my own doorway now. The more I’m out, the less I’m in to all the things I once did. It’s fading out and I rush into this empty vessel of a dream.
“This restless body, leave it alone. I’m waiting for you by the phone and it’s been raining for several days while you’ve been gone away.”
The seasons change quite so swiftly, the leaves pile high to see me. Now here I am stuck between my skin, my eyes and my heartbeat.
“This restless body, leave it alone. I’m waiting for you by the phone and it’s been raining for several days while you’ve been gone away.”
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4. |
mutiny
03:17
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I am a sailor out at sea caught in this mutiny. This one’s expected. I’m suspected of orchestrating this affair between life and death and it’s not fair for this to go on and I’ll show how.
“The sun beams down on my bones to prove I am not alone. It shines down through the sea to find me.”
I have been out for several months traveling with no one else. The days repeating, I’m retreating from whom I’m told I’m supposed to be. The air is getting hard to breath from all around. Yes, I’m a ghost town.
“The sun beams down on my bones to prove I am not alone. It shines down through the sea to find me.”
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5. |
lol @ the world
03:51
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“I just don’t know anymore which way I should turn. Do I go ask you for help or should I stay all alone?”
Your voice is stuck in my ear and it won’t go away.
“And before I disappear, should I hold on to? Should I just wait for you?”
Lol at the world. It’s faults are too great for me ‘cause I can’t get out of bed ‘cept for a cigarette. Fucking up all the time, my ghost can’t catch a break. It wants to drown itself inside this frozen lake knowing it’s too much to take.
* * *
“Why won’t these tears fall down, fall down my sunken face? Is it ‘cause I block them out along with everything else?”
“Go to sleep, little child. The world is waiting for you to get your shit together before it’s too late, before this train leaves the gate.”
I’m such a fucking mess wih bad intentions. I call out to the void, “teach me your lesson.”
“Lol at myself. Forget I said anything ‘cause I just want to lie down inside this hole in the ground. And maybe then I’ll be found.”
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6. |
in the city for the city
01:55
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“Anybody else, do you need my help? I will disappear if you don’t call out my name. I am terrified what lies dark beside my retired eyes.”
This is my becoming.
I awoke with the morning and I stayed up until dawn. “All things grow into something beautiful but can I be?” And the wind said, “Let it free.”
“I will fare the course. Break down any doors. Scream without remorse. I have nothing left to prove. This is my reprise. Stay in front of me all my hopes and fears. I’m in the city for the city.”
I awoke to the sounding of the bells. They told me to go on and run until my legs are dust. “But can I follow near?” And the wind said, “I’m right here.”
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7. |
taking inventory
02:06
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Hiding outside ‘til the morning comes around again. Feeling up to coming down. Holding on to something else.
Someone else’s been in my room taking inventory. The pieces broke and scattered ‘round, they make me nervous.
“Keep them near me now, I want to start again and leave it all behind and then begin again.”
But a voice repeats to me,
“But then again, why believe that this will change? Everything has been the same. Did you choose your stolen name?”
I said, “It fell beside the rain.”
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8. |
skipped out like a stone
02:32
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Across the seven seas, skipped out like a stone stretching out to the shore I laid and watched the birds fly. One by one they called out to all but me.
“I’m so sorry that I’m so terrifying. I’m an apparition or monster from your worst nightmare. I’m after you. But both you and I know that I’m not really there but you swear to God that it was real, like I am next to you.”
And now there’s nothing left to see, nothing but the suh swallowing all it needs. My heart jump starts and my life can now begin. Step by step I trace over the same old dreams.
“I’m so sorry that I’m so terrifying. My resolve is fragile. My head screams that I don’t want to be here soon. But both you and I know that that’s only just half true. Like the stars in the heavens who shine down so bright, that they are searching for you.”
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9. |
ending light
04:04
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I CAN SEE YOU IN THE DARK FILLING IN THESE VACANT WALLS
I CAN FIND THE ANSWER NOW CAUGHT BETWEEN THE ENDING LIGHT
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