they never really go away, do they, all the old haunts and the open door? sinking into all the things we love like an anchor tossed to the ocean floor. i never really know the words to say about the hardest things we've ever faced. its funny how the little ones always form a block inside and we stay in place. and i wonder why that is. i always seem to hold my breath silent like a vacant lot or an empty room. now i'm driving all around for some reason but i lost that meaning long too soon. and i wonder why that is. now i can see we're dividing, disintegrating from the bottom up. it's different now because i'm aware, but it never really feels like that's enough and i wonder why that is
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